[et_pb_section][et_pb_row make_fullwidth="off" use_custom_width="off" width_unit="on" use_custom_gutter="off" padding_mobile="off" allow_player_pause="off" parallax="off" parallax_method="off" make_equal="off" padding_top_1="40" padding_bottom_1="20"][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Title" background_layout="light" text_orientation="center" text_font_size="52" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" custom_padding="10||10|" text_text_color="#666666"]<strong>The Parental Relationship</strong>[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Content" background_layout="light" text_orientation="left" use_border_color="off" border_color="#ffffff" border_style="solid" custom_padding="20||20|"]<p>It is no great surprise that a majority of the youth we interviewed were frustrated at one or more levels with their parents.  Yet a surprising finding came from our interviews with teens who had made good transitions to life on their own.  Most of these youth still had intact the desire to please their parents.   As we pondered this, it made sense; youth who wanted to please their parents had a reason to avoid the activities that would pull them off course in the transition.  Unfortunately this was the case with only a fraction of the youth we interviewed.  By contrast the majority was looking forward to if not screaming for freedom from their parents.</p>

<p>The youth who made great transitions to life on their own had dramatically different relationships with their parents.  These relationships had a more peer-to-peer or adult to adult tone.  Parents showed more confidence in their teens and extended more independence much earlier.  As a result youth stepped up rather then back and had more respect for their parents and their families values and beliefs.</p>

<p>Another piece of research supported these findings.  Notre Dame University found that 69% of teens wanted more parental involvement in their lives.  Many parents would find this difficult to believe given the interaction they experienced with their adolescents.   YTN found that while a majority of youth wanted more parental involvement and a closer relationship with their parents, they did not believe it was possible.   While they wanted more closeness and involvement, they sought a different type of involvement and did not believe they had the platform to address this with their parents.  They feared their thoughts would either be misunderstood or lead to an argument.</p>

<p>Combined with our research, the Notre Dame study calls into the question our cultural conclusion that no matter what, there will be distance and issues in the relationship  during the adolescent years.  As a culture we have come to dread the thought of our kids’ becoming adolescents.</p>

<p>YTN believes that this does not need to be the case.  Parents, who have adopted a different view and modified their interaction with their youth, report closer relationships, more influence and 70% to 80% fewer conflicts. The parent adolescent relationship can be enjoyable, positive and empowering. To experience such an outcome we must alter our view of adolescents and align our approach with the reality of the changes that occur within the adolescent brain.  Altering our approach in these years allows our kids to remain connected to us, seek our involvement and maintain their desire to please us and to take more seriously our faith. Our research indicates this is crucial if youth are to avoid the common pitfalls of adolescence.</p>[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]